he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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