I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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