Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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