Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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