epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
