I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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