Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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