No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
