but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
