last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
