I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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