Me too!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
