But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
