i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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