I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
