No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
