meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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