Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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