I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
