It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
