Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
