yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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