You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
