Sponge bath it is.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
