You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
