I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
