I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i came on her dog
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
