shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
