I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
