found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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