I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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