how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
