remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
