she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
