Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
