I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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