Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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