he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
