There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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