i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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