I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
