Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
