Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
