you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
