its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
