If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
