You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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