if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
