I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
