Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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