Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
