she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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